The Daily Show
"The Most Mistrusted Name In News" The Daily Show was formerly a half-hour of dead air like PBS, until Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. demanded that Comedy Central give his Jew friend a job... and The Daily Show was born. It is watched primarily by Stoned Slackers. It is and always has been a fluffer for The Colbert Report, the greatest TV show in the universe, undisputed. Some leading experts have confirmed behind the scenes (Dr. Colbert, June 2, 2008) that the Daily Show is merely an "opening act" where Alan Colmes trainees are allowed to warm up Colbert's audience via acts of humiliation and interviewing guests unworthy of an award winning reporter like Dr. Colbert. The Daily Show is where the greatness of Stephen Colbert first began to be recognized by a world-wide audience as Comedy Central's glimpse into America's seedy Liberal underbelly. For many years, dating back to when Craig Kilborn was host, Stephen was a regular correspondent on the show. During his first two years, he was referred to as "The New Guy". Strike Shows Dr. Colbert's Jewish Friend has proclaimed that The Colbert Report's Lead-in Jewish Program will be referred to as A Daily Show, not The Daily Show. Also, he had a solidarity unibrow. The "John Stewart Era" Once Stephen's so called Jew "friend" took over the show things quickly took on a different style. John once forced Stephen to deep throat a banana for his viewing pleasure while trying to report on a scandal in London. This later led to a sexual harassment lawsuit from Stephen. John has yet to comment on the charges only proving his guilt further. Sexual Tension On The Set From his success and continued sexual advances by John on The Daily Show, Stephen received the nod for his own show, The Colbert Report, which is the most truthy and awesome half-hour on television. Because of Colbert's clear domination of The Daily Show (as the gay hipsters call the show) they allowed Colbert's career-long comedy partner Steve Carell to join the show for years before leaving to become a Hollywierd fatty. The average Daily Show is composed of John Stewart blathering endlessly about how bad the President is for about 22 minutes, and Stephen making an all too short appearance at the very end. He only agrees to do these shorts out of pity for John. He is, after all, a Jew that enjoys watching other men deep throat bananas. Stephen hopes that his while short but reoccurring cameos will convince John that he is a Godless Sodomite. This brief cameo leads into the greatest half-hour of television all time: The Colbert Report! It has been said that this is the best part of the show, and this also happens to be true. Our Lord and Savior, Stephen Colbert, puts up with John and supports him financially. Or, at least, he is his Jewish friend, along with Mort Zuckermann. afsdddddddddddasdfasdf The Geraldo Incident On the August 10, 2006 episode of The Daily Show, the space was presumably filled when Colbert made a surprise appearance. After arguing with John over whether or not Stewart should apologize to Geraldo Rivera for making fun of him on his show, an enraged Colbert said, "Then you're On Notice, John!" and amidst protests from Stewart told him to "DEAL WITH IT!" before storming off the set. Stewart has since apologized, wanting to stay in the good graces of . Anyone who doesn't burns in Hell for all eternity, getting a pineapple shoved up their ass. The set of "The Daily Show" is so ugly that it must be rebuilt every two months. Other Correspondents Believe it or not, there were other correspondents besides on the Show. Coattail riders include: * Demetri Martin - He had balls enough to leave and make his own show . * Vance Degeneres - brother of some famous lezbo. * Nancy Walls (Senior Female Correspondent) * Steve Carell (Senior Virgin Correspondent) * Mo Rocca (Senior Bowtie Correspondent) * Rob Corddry (Senior Balding Correspondent) * Ed Helms (Senior Bespectacled Correspondent) * Samantha Bee (Senior Canadian Correspondent) * John Oliver (Senior British Courrespondouent) * Asif Mandvi (Senior Mooslim Correspondent) * That One Black Guy (Senior Black Correspondent) * John Hodgman/PC (Senior Ubernerd Correspondent) * Demetri Martin (Senior trendspotting Correspondent) * Dan Bakkedahl (Junior Balding Correspondent) * Jason Jones (Senior "Totally Bad-Ass" Correspondent) * Rob Riggle (Senior Military Affairs Correspondent) * Dave Gorman (Senior "The Other British Guy" Courrespondouent and Contributour of "Poll Smoking") * Lewis Black (Senior Angry Jewish Prick Correspondent and Contributor of "Back in Black") * Bob Wiltfong (Senior What's-his-face Correspondent) * Nate Corddry (Senior Sibling Correspondent) * Kristen Schaal (Senior Women's Issues Commentator) * Mick Foley (Senior Asskicker) Trivia * Eighty percent of The Daily Show's viewers are stoned or intoxicated while watching it. * Kristen Schaal once won a wet T-shirt competition . *John Stewart aids and shelters old hippies at his home Notes See Also * The Half Hour News Hour Category:The Daily Show External Tubes *The Daily Show The Greatest Threat to America *Daily Show with John Stewart steals Stephen's Emmy!!! *CNN to sue John Stewart *Chris Matthews to John: You Ruin My Life! *Daily Show's Joo steals from Meet The Press *Joo meets crazy old man